I preface this by saying it was all my idea. I wanted to get out and explore...sunshine, fresh air...yada yada yada. This place sucks. I mean it sucks so hard it makes a noise. I hate it. I am sure it was designed by God hating Nazi's to ensure misery for future generations.
I have since dubbed this day "My Bataan Death March" since that is what it felt like. In my mind the OSSP was going to be like the Botanical Gardens, but with ample wildlife and gators. NOT. It is dying, burnt out crappy ass brown and green scrub brush with no variation or diversity. We saw like 3 birds the entire day - even the birds hate it, it's that bad. And there are no signs, but plenty of trails that lead to NOWHERE. Oh, and it is infested with grasshoppers. Giant grasshoppers, which I also hate. So for like an eternity, we wandered aimlessly around this shithole, being attacked by bugs and so bored I considered stabbing myself in the eye with a palm frond, just for a change of pace. I don't think I can adequately describe how miserable I was. It was so horrendous, that for the first time in my life, I hopped a fence, just to get the hell away faster. Yes, my big, fat, white fanny went up and over a fence, trudged through bug ridden scrub brush and a gully - just to get the hell away faster. SUCKOLA. Oh, and I got sun burn on my boobalas.
So, in closing allow me to reiterate...this place blows and blows mightily. Do not ever go here, even on a dare, even if your life depends on it. Death - even a long and painful one - would be preferable. Thank you.
